Overwhelming work.

Like Cliff, it has been quite some time since I wrote a blog. Reasons are the same; an overwhelming amount of work, priorities 2.5 months to the concert sprinkled with a tiny bit of “procrastination” in the form of mindless television or going to the gym. I’ve gotten into the routine of feeling guilty and beating myself up for any slips or distractions like that and any waiver of focus. Sometimes you just feel completely paralyzed by the amount of weight on your shoulders, you just never feel comfortable and want to shut down. So now I’m just getting tired of beating myself up! Maybe it’s a good thing.

I’ve spent the last 4 days in Toronto for a work conference. It’s the longest time I’ll be away from home this year for work. I simply could not afford to take the days off practicing. I’m just not where I thought I would be with my music... it isn’t for a lack of effort, though. After attending a workshop with the Brasil Guitar Duo before I left, you realize that a year of focused practicing isn’t enough to reach my audacious musical goals and become a concert classical guitarist. It’s a lifetime commitment to the art and the craft.

It’s about “growing slowly” and changing the muscles in your body, changing the way your brain learns and remembers things. What was I thinking??!?!

That being said, I’ve come to accept that GuitarBorn is the catalyst. It’s the jumpstart I needed to get on the right path. I would have never taken my guitar on a work trip before this, but now I simply do not want travel without it. The thought of not playing for that long made me sick. It was never about all of a sudden becoming a master overnight. I love the guitar, it’s a part of who I am. It’s fulfilling and fills my cup that much more.

Isn’t that enough? Of course it is. That’s the point. It’s about unleashing that side of you that has been dormant and finding a way to make tiny micro adjustments in your life to make room for it. THAT doesn’t happen over night. That requires a journey. Trial and error, success and failure, sacrifice.

-- Noel